We make hundreds of decisions every day—what to eat, how to respond to a message, whether to say yes to a request. But how often do we pause to ask ourselves why we’re making a choice? This week’s word, motive, challenges us to examine the driving force behind our actions.
What Is a Motive?
A motive is the reason behind a behavior or decision. It’s what pushes us to act—whether it’s hunger, fear, love, habit, or something deeper. Our motives aren’t always obvious, but they influence everything we do.
For example:
Are you reaching for that bag of chips because you’re actually hungry or because you’re stressed?
Are you about to fire off a heated text because you want to communicate or because you want to punish the person on the other end?
Are you saying “yes” to something because you truly want to or because you feel obligated?
Understanding our motives helps us make more intentional choices instead of acting on impulse or emotion.
Questions to Ask Before Making a Decision
When we slow down and check in with ourselves, we gain clarity.
Before making a choice, try asking:
What am I feeling right now? – Naming your emotion can help you see if you’re acting out of stress, fear, or something else.
What do I hope to gain from this decision? – Is it relief? Validation? Connection? Control?
Will this choice support my well-being long term? – Sometimes, what feels good in the moment (like an angry text or a junk food binge) doesn’t serve us in the long run.
If I waited 10 minutes, would I still make this choice? – A short pause can make all the difference between reacting and responding.
Everyday Ways to Review Our Motives
Before eating: Ask, “Am I truly hungry, or am I eating for comfort?”
Before texting or responding in a conflict: Pause and ask, “Do I want to communicate or retaliate?”
Before saying ‘yes’ to something: Ask, “Am I agreeing out of guilt or genuine desire?”
Before making a purchase: Consider, “Do I need this, or am I shopping to fill an emotional void?”
Our motives shape our lives, often in ways we don’t realize. The more we question them, the more we can align our actions with our values and goals. This week, let’s practice being more mindful about why we do what we do—because self-awareness is the key to better choices and greater peace.
About the Author:
Elizabeth Rago is a mama, wife, writer, and the creator of The Modern Domestic Woman (MDW).
Starting with silly beginnings writing about home decor and DIY projects, Elizabeth found MDW to be a happy distraction from her stressful life as a mom of three.
After a series of unfortunate events including job loss, a car accident, bankruptcy, and a physical and emotional breakdown, Elizabeth felt compelled to shift the primary focus of MDW from pretty pictures and goofy memes to a space of honest support for the everyday woman.
Learn more about Elizabeth at MDWcares.com
Comments