“Are you sure you want to get married? Your career would go a lot farther if you didn’t have that weighing you down.”
This was a note of "feedback" from a superior years ago, to which he added "don't wear your glasses, you're more attractive without them."
Reflecting on this encounter of my youth, my 44-year-old self is squirming in her skin. Oh, what I would have told him if I had the wisdom and bearings I possess now.
Instead, I assured him that the love of my life was an asset to my career and not a burden; however, the glasses comment struck a nerve.
I felt self-conscious after that and wore contacts until the moment I went to bed at night and for years felt a pang of unattractiveness whenever I donned my specs. So I didn’t wear them.
Despite the fact that my husband raved about my beauty while wearing my glasses, that conversation years ago at work was enough to plant a seed of doubt in my mind.
Fast forward 10 years.
A spinal headache after the birth of my third kiddo made it impossible to wear contacts for weeks. Reasoning my new daughter would not recognize my face unless I had my glasses on, I wore them every minute of the day. As soon as I took them off, she furrowed her little brow and then smiled when I put them back on.
This sweet chubby face looked at me with so much love that I promptly abandoned the notion that I was not pretty enough in my glasses. As her little fingers touched my face and smudged my lenses, I felt a flicker of confidence spark inside me that quickly radiated from my pores.
I’ve learned to maximize my quirky nature, which has always desperately tried to make its way out into the world. Wrestling with my true self makes for a scattered and confused soul, only half on fire instead of a full-out blaze of beauty.
Remember this quote from Coco Chanel when buffoons come a-calling. This sums up my outlook on confidently weaving my “flaws” into my look instead of concealing them:
“Women hide their imperfections instead of accepting them as an added charm.” - Coco Chanel
The power of words is enough to make or break you. Let me tell you this today - you are beautiful. Don't conceal the radiant light that is uniquely designed for you.
xo, E
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