How Ugly Socks Helped Me Find Myself After Divorce

When my marriage ended, I wasn’t devastated—I was exhausted. I had spent so much time trying to be everything for someone else that I lost sight of myself in the process. By the time it was over, I wasn’t mourning the relationship—I was mourning the version of me that had slowly faded away.

And somehow, in the middle of all that, I found myself in a pair of ugly socks.

The Quiet Loss of Self

Looking back, I don’t think I even realized how much of myself I had set aside over the years. It wasn’t intentional—it was just small things, little compromises that added up. The way I dressed, the way I spent my time, the things that used to bring me joy but got pushed to the side.

After the divorce, I stood in front of my closet and felt like I didn’t recognize anything in it. Some clothes belonged to a version of me that didn’t quite fit anymore—literally and figuratively. Others felt like they were chosen with someone else in mind, not me.

And then one day, I grabbed a pair of socks that were—objectively—hideous. Bright, mismatched, completely unnecessary. And for the first time in a long time, I felt a spark of something I had been missing: joy.

The Power of Small Acts of Joy

Those ugly socks became my small act of defiance. A reminder that I could choose things just because they made me happy, without overthinking or justifying it.

So I bought more. Ridiculous patterns, neon colors, socks that made no sense with any outfit. Every morning, pulling on those socks became a ritual—a little moment of joy that was entirely mine.

They reminded me that happiness doesn’t have to be this big, overwhelming thing.

Sometimes, it starts with something small. Something silly. Something as simple as wearing a pair of socks that make you smile.

Reclaiming Myself, One Step at a Time

It wasn’t really about the socks. It was about remembering that I didn’t have to be anything other than myself.

That I could take up space. That I could choose things that made me feel good, without worrying about how they looked to anyone else.

Divorce wasn’t just an ending—it was a beginning. A chance to figure out what I liked, what I wanted, what felt right for me.

And the socks? They were just the first step in reclaiming that.

Finding Yourself Again

If you’ve ever gone through a big life transition—whether it’s a breakup, a move, a job change—you know how easy it is to feel like you’ve lost yourself along the way. But you can find your way back. And sometimes, it starts with something small.

Maybe for you, it’s wearing a color you haven’t worn in years. Maybe it’s a song that reminds you of a version of yourself you loved. Maybe it’s picking up an old hobby, cutting your hair, or yes—wearing the ugliest socks you can find.

Whatever it is, let it be yours. Let it remind you that you’re allowed to choose joy, in whatever way feels right.

And if you ever need a reminder that you don’t have to have it all figured out—start with the socks.

---

About the Author:

MDW's voice for all things mental health, therapist and LCSW, Carrie Summers, embodies inclusion and creating safe spaces for all people that is free of judgment.

Carrie is dedicated to empowering individuals like you through personalized counseling. Specializing in perinatal, relationship issues, divorce, life transitions, and narcissistic abuse recovery.

Carrie owns her practice, Noreila Healing & Wellness, in Wheaton, Illinois, and is available in-person and online for therapy.

Learn more at noreilahealing.com

---

Disclosure: MDW gets a teensy commission if you click through and purchase through affiliate links, but don’t worry—100% of that kickback is dedicated to supporting women’s programs right here in our community. So, every purchase is a small act of kindness that adds up to something big!